I know and that is his right. Just like it is my choice to do something to help him. I doubt any of us will be able to successfully convince him that Ultima is using him. I don’t know him well enough to see how deep that well goes, but–
[Clive fights down the urge to kick the rock he was sitting on.]
I talked to Yuri recently about the complications with Barnabas’ goals versus our own and his loyalty to Ultima. About how no matter what I said, I couldn’t convince him against following the path strictly because his god is unkind.
[Clive drops down into the grass and lies flat on his back, looking up at the grey clouds floating by. He starts to count them, imagine shapes out of their fluffy masses, anything to calm down. Doing so had been more difficult than usual since coming back from the mission on earth.
When he talks again, he is steadier, quieter.]
He told me to show Barnabas that there was more in this life worth living for.
[ Dion considers this notion for a time, little to indicate his continued presence save the sound of something being set down. ]
Not wrong, exactly.
[ It is not for him to decide what is wrong under such extraordinary circumstances. He agrees that Odin deserves to know the truth, that he should know what he had long been chained to was a lie, but accepting such a reality would be painful.
That was, of course, if it were possible to begin with. Dion couldn't begin to speculate on this, knowing Odin primarily through battle. ]
I only hope you consider yourself as well, whilst you worry over others.
[Clive basks in the momentary silence. That was one of the things he likes about Dion. He spent the time to truly consider what a person said to him before responding, particularly when it came to sensitive or difficult topics.
He can’t help the breathy little chuckle that escapes his throat. Of course Dion would remind him to care for himself first. He supposes the other man has seen a side of him now that nearly none have seen. The closest had been Cid and, even then, the pain had been less visible.]
When I've two Rosfields minding me? That seems excessive.
[ The words are said in jest, though there is some truth to them. Dion could hardly fail to notice the way the two worry after him now and then, even when they came in such quiet forms as particular choice in words. As someone who chooses his own with care, it's only natural that he should notice.
So too does he notice the way they forget themselves in favor of others. He'd hazard to think it a familial trait, though he'd hardly known their father and their mother was...the way she was. What he'd heard of their boisterous uncle did suggest a trend. ]
[Clive chuckles. It feels like something lifts from his chest. If Dion can make jokes, then Clive can let go a little. Even if it meant having to see that damned crystal every time he looked out towards Stonhyrr.]
What's the saying? You can never be too careful?
[Clive's tone is light, playful. This... this is nice.]
[ Dion suspects if he attempted something well and truly reckless, he'd assuredly hear about it from the both of them. It's hardly a negative, though he's unaccustomed.
For much of his life, Dion hardly had true peers in his proximity. ]
You would do the same, were our positions reversed.
[ It would be presumptuous to say "what are friends for?", he's sure, but the spirit is there in the warmth of his tone just the same. ]
[Much like Dion has been there when Clive has been reckless, multiple times now, Clive would be there for Dion in a heartbeat.
Thinking about it, he should probably stop stressing the guy out so much. Which would be very doable if his life calmed down a little bit. Would that ever happen? Who knows.]
Of course I would. [Dion could hear the smile in Clive's voice.] You're important to me.
[ It's as articulate as Dion can be in the moment, the shock in his voice no lesser for Clive's elaboration. ]
...You know it not, but you are the reason I have those flowers. You've given of yourself regardless of what may or may not have been deserved.
[ It is the best he can do to reciprocate in the moment. What he has done seems so little in comparison to how readily Clive took on so much for so many on an individual basis. Master Harpocrates may have made the request for a wild wyvern tail, but ultimately, it was Dion who was the beneficiary of that effort.
He had not felt himself deserving of that flower then, but it had since made its way here. ]
It was something a future me did then? I wonder if I will get to do it, too.
[Clive moves on to the next cloud, tracing an outline of a flower. He doesn’t remember exactly what Wyvern Tails look like, but he traces a close approximation of one, thinking of the purple blossoms on Dion’s terrace. It felt right that Dion be gifted something so beautiful, untouched by the avarice of those who tainted it for fouler purposes.]
I would. Fetch you that flower, that is. Even now.
[Maybe especially now. Clive is quiet for a little bit. He closes his eyes, tries to imagine a world where they could be so much more than Dominants. What could Dion have been, had he been given the chance to grow instead of fight?]
I know not whether we may change anything about the courses we followed. Someone I met in my early days in Etraya told me she had been here for quite some time. Those who left and were summoned once more remembered not the time spent here. Some would come from different points in time than before, knowing more or less than they previously had.
[ The implications had haunted him until the Phoenix had suddenly stepped up beside him in the Gold Saucer, as though he'd never vanished at all.
None of them can predict what may or may not befall them or when, but it doesn't suggest to him that they can change the events that they will or have experienced. It seems they merely get drawn from different points in their lives. ]
[Clive humms thoughtfully. There was so much they didn’t know about this place, about how time works here, about what it might look like back home as they were stuck here. What if there were also alternate versions of their own homeworlds? It was a lot to think about and, frankly, Clive didn’t feel particularly inclined to do so at this moment.]
Well, no. I wouldn’t be surprised if you did, but I was referring to being giving, potentially overly so.
[ The sound Dion makes in his throat is something between consideration and objection. He doesn't believe he gives too much. If anything, he feels that what he does can never be enough.
Clive does far more for so many on an indvidual basis than Dion has ever been able to. ]
It is only natural that I support you in what ways I can. [ Then he adds, with mild humor: ] I am your senior here, after all.
[Clive can't help the smile that comes at the sound Dion makes. He wasn't even a little surprised that the other man disagreed with him. Dion could break every bone in his body helping other people and still probably think he hadn't done enough. It was something that Clive could understand.]
And it's only natural that I do the same for you. [Clive chuckles.] That you are, Dion. I will continue to look to you for guidance in these strange places.
[He's teasing a little bit, but it is still the truth.]
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2025-08-26 01:54 am (UTC)[Clive fights down the urge to kick the rock he was sitting on.]
I talked to Yuri recently about the complications with Barnabas’ goals versus our own and his loyalty to Ultima. About how no matter what I said, I couldn’t convince him against following the path strictly because his god is unkind.
[Clive drops down into the grass and lies flat on his back, looking up at the grey clouds floating by. He starts to count them, imagine shapes out of their fluffy masses, anything to calm down. Doing so had been more difficult than usual since coming back from the mission on earth.
When he talks again, he is steadier, quieter.]
He told me to show Barnabas that there was more in this life worth living for.
[Clive is quiet for a couple of beats.]
Is it wrong of me to want to do that?
no subject
Date: 2025-08-26 09:13 am (UTC)Not wrong, exactly.
[ It is not for him to decide what is wrong under such extraordinary circumstances. He agrees that Odin deserves to know the truth, that he should know what he had long been chained to was a lie, but accepting such a reality would be painful.
That was, of course, if it were possible to begin with. Dion couldn't begin to speculate on this, knowing Odin primarily through battle. ]
I only hope you consider yourself as well, whilst you worry over others.
no subject
Date: 2025-08-26 10:57 pm (UTC)He can’t help the breathy little chuckle that escapes his throat. Of course Dion would remind him to care for himself first. He supposes the other man has seen a side of him now that nearly none have seen. The closest had been Cid and, even then, the pain had been less visible.]
As long as you do the same.
no subject
Date: 2025-08-27 08:09 pm (UTC)[ The words are said in jest, though there is some truth to them. Dion could hardly fail to notice the way the two worry after him now and then, even when they came in such quiet forms as particular choice in words. As someone who chooses his own with care, it's only natural that he should notice.
So too does he notice the way they forget themselves in favor of others. He'd hazard to think it a familial trait, though he'd hardly known their father and their mother was...the way she was. What he'd heard of their boisterous uncle did suggest a trend. ]
no subject
Date: 2025-08-28 01:09 am (UTC)What's the saying? You can never be too careful?
[Clive's tone is light, playful. This... this is nice.]
Thanks for talking me down, by the way.
no subject
Date: 2025-08-28 02:34 am (UTC)For much of his life, Dion hardly had true peers in his proximity. ]
You would do the same, were our positions reversed.
[ It would be presumptuous to say "what are friends for?", he's sure, but the spirit is there in the warmth of his tone just the same. ]
no subject
Date: 2025-08-28 10:44 pm (UTC)Thinking about it, he should probably stop stressing the guy out so much. Which would be very doable if his life calmed down a little bit. Would that ever happen? Who knows.]
Of course I would. [Dion could hear the smile in Clive's voice.] You're important to me.
no subject
Date: 2025-08-30 01:14 am (UTC)I am?
[ As though it's mystifying he should matter on a personal level to those around him. ]
no subject
Date: 2025-08-31 03:19 pm (UTC)Yes, Dion. You very much are.
[Clive traces a cloud with his finger as it slowly moves by.]
You have changed my life for the better, been there for me in ways that I would not have expected or asked of anyone. So yes, you are important to me.
no subject
Date: 2025-09-01 03:54 am (UTC)[ It's as articulate as Dion can be in the moment, the shock in his voice no lesser for Clive's elaboration. ]
...You know it not, but you are the reason I have those flowers. You've given of yourself regardless of what may or may not have been deserved.
[ It is the best he can do to reciprocate in the moment. What he has done seems so little in comparison to how readily Clive took on so much for so many on an individual basis. Master Harpocrates may have made the request for a wild wyvern tail, but ultimately, it was Dion who was the beneficiary of that effort.
He had not felt himself deserving of that flower then, but it had since made its way here. ]
no subject
Date: 2025-09-01 09:10 pm (UTC)It was something a future me did then? I wonder if I will get to do it, too.
[Clive moves on to the next cloud, tracing an outline of a flower. He doesn’t remember exactly what Wyvern Tails look like, but he traces a close approximation of one, thinking of the purple blossoms on Dion’s terrace. It felt right that Dion be gifted something so beautiful, untouched by the avarice of those who tainted it for fouler purposes.]
I would. Fetch you that flower, that is. Even now.
[Maybe especially now. Clive is quiet for a little bit. He closes his eyes, tries to imagine a world where they could be so much more than Dominants. What could Dion have been, had he been given the chance to grow instead of fight?]
That is something we have in common, I think.
no subject
Date: 2025-09-03 02:31 am (UTC)[ The implications had haunted him until the Phoenix had suddenly stepped up beside him in the Gold Saucer, as though he'd never vanished at all.
None of them can predict what may or may not befall them or when, but it doesn't suggest to him that they can change the events that they will or have experienced. It seems they merely get drawn from different points in their lives. ]
But do you mean to say I would fetch flowers?
no subject
Date: 2025-09-04 10:47 pm (UTC)Well, no. I wouldn’t be surprised if you did, but I was referring to being giving, potentially overly so.
[Clive’s voice softens.]
You’ve certainly done so for me.
no subject
Date: 2025-09-05 01:18 am (UTC)Clive does far more for so many on an indvidual basis than Dion has ever been able to. ]
It is only natural that I support you in what ways I can. [ Then he adds, with mild humor: ] I am your senior here, after all.
no subject
Date: 2025-09-06 02:56 am (UTC)And it's only natural that I do the same for you. [Clive chuckles.] That you are, Dion. I will continue to look to you for guidance in these strange places.
[He's teasing a little bit, but it is still the truth.]
no subject
Date: 2025-09-07 12:03 am (UTC)[ While the humor remains, there is an underlying sincerity to his words as well. Dion will do his utmost for his allies— of course he will. ]
Wrap?
Date: 2025-09-07 11:38 pm (UTC)[Clive sits up and looks at the Motherchrystal. He sighs.]
I should probably go. I need to walk back to Garreg Mach. Thanks again, Dion, for talking me down.
🎀
Date: 2025-09-07 11:41 pm (UTC)[ A beat, and he adds— ]
Should conditions change, we will handle it. For now, be well, Clive.